Don't Use Your Work E-Mail Address
by Jody Armstrong
Summary: Two Tachibana Labs employees discuss the events leading up to and after the release of the 7th Gen Wired Protocol


You Should Never Use Your Work E-Mail Address

You Should Never Use Your Work E-Mail Address

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TO: Senior Software Development Managers

FROM: Board of Directors, Tachibana Labs Inc..

SUBJECT: Security Issues relating to 7th Gen Wired Protocol

To All Senior Development Engineers

It has come to our attention in recent days that there were a number of revisions implemented in the release version of the 7th Generation Wired Protocolwhich were not included in the Gold Candidate version we approved one month ago for release. 

We have attributed these issues to Chief Researcher Massami Eiri who has since been dismissed from the company.However, as a result of this unauthorised tampering of the codebase within the Wired Protocol we have to implement an emergency rollback across the world to version 6,89a and then focus on a complete debug of every line of code within version 7.

This is going to cost Tachibana Labs Inc.. an estimated $190 million dollars in engineering work alone with the cost of the finalrollback looking to exceed $4 billion at least.

Schedules for code rewrites will be posted shortly and we ask all Software Development Managers to debrief all Software Engineerson this matter as quickly as possible and to stress the importance of a thorough and complete examination of the entire Version 7 codebase.

A summary of known issues with Version 7 are included below:-

**Network Security Errors **- A number of installations have reported unauthorised systems access indicating a possible backdoor in the security systems.

**Unusual Network Anomalies** - There have been reported visual and audio issues which include strange images appearing within Desktop Navis and unwanted sound bytes.It is also possible some kind of Voice Over IP is in place as several users have reported being able to talk to the voice responsible.

**Mission Critical Data** - A wide variety of corporate and end-users alike have reported their data being distributed on The Wired without their knowledge or consent, we believe that Massami Eiri programmed in several automated data filters to post data out onto The Wired if said data met criteria.

This is a very small list of known issues, for a complete list please see the Tachibana Technical Intranet where full details will be released once we have a compiled list.

At this immediate time all efforts should be focus on the rollback to Version 6, once completed Software Engineers will begin disassembling and recompiling the Version 7 codebase.

We trust we will have your full co-operation and commitment in this matter.

Board of Directors

Tachibana Labs Inc..

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TO: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

FROM: Jennifer.Tyler@tachibana.co.jp

SUBJECT: 7th Gen Rollback

I don't know about you Daniel but things are very strange here in Tokyo, I almost wish I'd never transferred here, ever since the 7th Gen was uploaded and Massami Eiri was fired everything has gone straight to hell.Then they order all divisions to prepare a rollback to Version 6 as soon as possible.

What the hell are they thinking?The whole point about Version 7 was that it was automated, we released the code to The Wired, it filtered through all the servers, routers and transmitters around the globe and upgraded the BIOS of the machines and networking hardware.It took two days for the whole globe to be upgraded.

Now they want us to go back to Version 6 which has to be installed manually, even if we e-mailed every known customer with Version 6 attached it would take weeks to confirm installation.

I don't get it, none of the features listed on the bulletin board had any indication of a critical failure, I'm sure Eiri played silly buggers with the code, but surely we could do a debug and a global patch like the initial rollout.

Most of the software engineers here are shitting bricks, they're being expected to pull double, even triple shifts to get debugging over as quickly as possible.

How are things in the UK?

Something major has got totally screwed at Tachibana and the big suits are trying to keep it quiet.

Best wishes

Jennifer

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TO: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

FROM: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

Subject: RE: 7th Gen Rollback

Hi Jennifer

I agree, it's all gone crazy up here, get this, yesterday one of the Piccadilly Circus advertising boards started to print up a list of this years Honours list.It kept it up for about an hour before it started showing account numbers for most of the leading city bankers.Then the London Underground information screens started scrolling every ex-directory phone number, complete with name and address, on every station's infoscreen.I heard The Knights claimed responsibility, they've been getting around a lot more now and I dunno, I've got a funny feeling Eiri left some backdoors for these kind of people in Version 7. 

I think the reason why Version 7 is being pulled is because the Board have no idea what Eiri really did, that's why we're all debugging the whole thing, they don't know to look for or where.

Take care of yourself.

Daniel

TO: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

FROM: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

SUBJECT: We're f*****!!!!

Jesus, a few of us got one of the test servers out a few moments ago, we were going to see how a Version 6 server handled traffic from a Version 7 system and when we tried to downgrade to Version 6 the machine rejected it.We tried wiping the BIOS chips but Version 7 was in there solid.

I don't know what Eiri's done to the installation code but if Tachibana wants to rollback they'll need to replace every computer in the world.

Looks like we're stuck with Version 7.

Daniel

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TO: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

FROM: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

SUBJECT: Weird occurrences in Tokyo

I just got the memo about the Version 6 rollback problems.We've managed to upgrade Version 7 to a slightly different build (different version number, no other changes) and this went over fine, looks like Eiri wanted Version 7 to be upgraded.I guess he was still expected to be working here when he planned to do it.

If you think those things in London were weird, wait till you hear what happened here.Firstly the road traffic information system malfunctioned and caused no end of pile-ups and traffic jams, but there's been an increase in the number of child suicides, they've had a total of seven this week alone. But get this, all the kids were apparently hooked on some new Wired game called Phantoma.The Knights apparently released it recently.

I dunno if it is related, but it's a coincidence.

Jennifer

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TO: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

FROM: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

SUBJECT: Child suicides

We've had those around London too, I dug around, there's been loads of kids, mostly teenagers, jumping off roofs, in front of cars, you name it.I don't know if the kids around here were playing Phantoma, the cops have got it pretty much behind closed doors to keep from panicking parents, so I can't get much information.

I checked out Phantoma, it was released the day Version 7 was released, apparently it uses some of the new IP protocols in Version 7 to make it faster, I didn't notice much difference, but my Navi at home is beat.I'm trying to find the source code on The Wired to see if it's anything special, I figured maybe subliminal messages or something to induce kids to go kill themselves.

Daniel

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TO: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

FROM: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

SUBJECT: Schumann Resonance

I was just looking doing a wildcard search on Eiri on the servers here at work, seeing if he had any files leftover that might help us debug Version 7, I didn't find any of that, but I did something much more interesting, it was in a trash file, a memo The Board had passed around itself.They were apparently researching something call the Schumann Resonance and the reconfiguration of the Global Communication System.Any idea what that is?

Jennifer

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TO: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

FROM: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

SUBJECT: RE: Schumann Resonance

Yeah I know about this, it's the electromagnetic field that surrounds the Earth, it resonates on approximately 8mhz, 7.58mhz is the average I think.The theory behind it is that this electromagnetic field has been about since the Earth formed and humans evolved alongside it. Some scientists claim that as we surround ourselves by our own artificial electromagnetic fields we are damaging our harmony with nature.

From what you mentioned I did some diagnostic checks on our satellite uplink and along with the main transmission signal there's a separate carrier wave transmitting on the same frequency of the Schumann Resonance.Eiri reconfigured every transmitter in the country all at once, this means that every single piece of computer data at some point travels via the electromagnetic field of the planet.Even if you send an e-mail to the person just down the street it gets uploaded to your provider's server via the local exchange antenna.Question is why?

Daniel

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TO: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

FROM: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

SUBJECT: Eiri's dead!!!

Holy shit, I heard this afternoon, Eiri jumped in front of a train this morning.

Jennifer

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TO: all@tachibana.com

FROM: massami.eiri

SUBJECT: Come To The Wired

My old colleagues, you know you can enter The Wired, you can leave your bodies behind and live forever in the realm of Cyberia, you can do it, just like I have.

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TO: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

FROM: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

SUBJECT: What the....?

Did you get that too?I thought you said he killed himself?How can he send e-mail, I ran a trace on the mail, but there's not even an IP or router address in the header.It's just blank.What the hell is going on?

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TO: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

FROM: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

SUBJECT: ...

Listen, we can't talk about this anymore, not ever, do you understand?I just got a visit from some really freaky guys, they were dressed in black suits and they had these really far out eye goggles on, I've seen prototypes, they allow access to The Wired via impulses from the brain, it transmits the results right onto the retina, anyway, they told me if I repeated anything we've spoken about then I would be in serious trouble, and I don't think they meant I'd get fired.

This is so screwed, I think they're even watching me at home, I'm scared Daniel, I'm leaving this alone.

Jennifer

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TO: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

FROM: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

SUBJECT: ...

Daniel?You there?

Jennifer

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TO: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

FROM: mailadmin@tachibana.co.uk

SUBJECT: Undeliverable mail, unknown recipient

Your message:

TO: daniel.richards@tachibana.co.uk

FROM: jennifer.tyler@tachibana.co.jp

SUBJECT: ...

Could not be delivered due to:

unknown recipient.

This could be due to the address being changed or the address is no longer in service.If the problem persists please see your administrator.

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You Should Never Use Your Work E-Mail Address by Jody Armstrong

Copyright Jody Armstrong 2001

jody.armstrong@ntlworld.com


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